Step out of Self-Sabotage and Into Self-Compassion

Self-sabotage is sneaky. It’s the voice that convinces you to stay small, the habit of saying “no” when you want to say "yes,” or the urge to grab a pint of ice cream instead of dealing with your emotions. It’s not your fault—these patterns often come from deep-rooted fears or a nervous system stuck in survival mode.

But here’s the thing: You can step out of these cycles and into something softer, something more you. You can trade self-sabotage for self-compassion. And when you do, life flows—not because you’re perfect, but because you’re finally on your own team.

Here’s how to start:

1. Remind Yourself Daily That You Deserve Goodness

The biggest lie self-sabotage tells us is that we’re unworthy of the good things we crave. Whether it’s love, success, or even peace, it’s easy to think, Maybe it’s not for me. That lie lives in the mind but also in the body, it’s nervous system deep. The antidote? Daily affirmations. Speak to yourself like someone you’re rooting for.

Every morning, try saying:

• “I deserve goodness.”

• “I am worthy of love, joy, and success.”

• “I choose options that serve me.”

Say it even if it feels cringe or untrue at first. Your nervous system needs time to adjust to this new way of thinking. The more you remind yourself, the more those words take root, and the easier it becomes to act from a place of worthiness instead of fear.

2. Stop Living in a Reward-and-Punishment Cycle

Raise your hand if you’ve ever skipped breakfast because you overate the night before. Or pushed yourself to the gym to “earn” dessert. 🙋🏽‍♀️ That reward-and-punishment mindset feels logical but keeps you locked in a toxic loop, where every action either “deserves” a reward or a punishment.

It’s exhausting.

Instead, try moving through life in a flow state. What does that mean? It means honoring what you need right now instead of attaching conditions to your worth. Hungry? Eat. Tired? Rest. Thriving? Celebrate yourself for no reason at all.

This isn’t about being reckless—it’s about reconnecting with your body and finding balance. When you stop punishing and start listening, you’ll notice that self-sabotage starts to fade because you’re not at war with yourself anymore.

3. Befriend Your Triggers Instead of Fighting Them

Let’s be real: Triggers are inevitable. The urge to binge eat, lash out, or shut down when things get toughis a sign that something deeper is bubbling up. And the instinct to avoid or “fix” it is where we often self-sabotage.

Instead of reacting or spiraling, try this:

Pause.

Sit with the feeling. Notice what’s happening in your body. Is your chest tight? Is your jaw clenched? Do you feel like running or yelling or curling into a ball?

Good.

Now let it flow.

Dance. Shake. Yell into a pillow. Cry it out. Feel it without overthinking or rationalizing it. These emotions aren’t random—they’re your body’s way of releasing what’s stuck. Letting them pass through you, instead of burying them, is how you heal.

Be Patient With the Process

You didn’t learn self-sabotage overnight, so don’t expect to unlearn it in a day either. This is a practice. Some days you’ll nail it, and other days you’ll fall back into old habits. Both are okay because self-compassion isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present.

When you remind yourself that you’re worthy, live in flow, and let emotions move through you instead of owning you, everything shifts. You stop being your own worst enemy and become your biggest ally. And let me tell you, that is where the magic happens.

So say it with me: I deserve goodness. And then, go act like it. 💖